the potion

welcome

Introduction

Student vs. scholar

Your Foundation

breaking down how you look at social anxiety

It's time for you to set your foundation

Your mental software upgrade

Motivation

Natural law and reverse engineering

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self acceptance

Accepting where you are at

Letting Go

Gratitude and rescripting your story

Taking time to acknowledge things you are grateful for can change the way you see everything around you. Increasing our presence and the kindness we see in the world... Not to mention eliminating the self loathing we tend to have about the past and catastrophizing future events coming up.

Exercise 1 - Before going to sleep, think of 3 things that you are grateful for.

Exercise 2 - Throughout your day, make a conscious effort to see the blessings all around you.

Consider... things, people, places, events, activities. Think about your spiritual, physical, emotional, social, physical aspects.

NOTE:

After consciously implementing these two exercises, they will become habit. It will be harder to have negative thoughts about our life. This sets us on a self fulfilling cycle to see the good, which will open doors of opportunity.

You must be honest with yourself. If you complete these exercises for a week and then quit... Nothing is ever going to change.

turning a negative past into your biggest strength

Belief In yourself

caring what people think of you

how often people think about you

self image

self esteem

self worth

perfectionism

The Ways to Overcome Being a Perfectionist...

Perfectionism is caused by not feeling deep down that you are enough as you are so you’re always striving to win acceptance, both other people’s and your own.

Perfectionism makes you feel like you always need to do more for people to like you, love you and accept you. Trying to be perfect around others is bound to make you feel anxiety and letting go of this was a fundamental part of healing my social anxiety.

The ways to overcome being a perfectionist are…

1. Accept mistakes will happen and everyone makes them, they are a part of life. You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy of love and friendship.

2. Get rid of black and white, perfect or worthless thinking and accept there are grey areas to everything.

3. Focus on the big picture. Does one awkward conversation or embarrassing moment really matter in the scheme of things? Will anyone care or even remember this moment tomorrow?

4. Celebrate and reward doing rather than achieving perfection. Instead of rewarding yourself only when you do everything perfectly, reward yourself for having the courage to try.

5. Practice looking at yourself the same way that you view others. You don’t demand perfection from everyone in your life to like them.

The thing to remember is, it doesn’t matter how much you do or how many people you impress, if you are a perfectionist it will never be enough. It’s a game you can never win.

You don’t need to be perfect for people to like you or accept you, just like you don’t need others to be perfect or never make mistakes to like them. You love them for who they are, not how good they are.

how thoughts and beliefs influence your reality

the power of thought

where you place your focus

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the company you keep

fears

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things to do when you're feeling anxiety

What to Do When You’re Feeling Anxious or Self-Conscious

(This Is What I Did)

You may now be wondering,“What happens when I’m in the middle of an anxiety attack or feeling very self-conscious in public? What tools did you use then?” If I was ever feeling anxious or very self-conscious in public, here are some things I would do...

EFT - You'll learn this inside The Potion...

Relaxing your muscles. Take notice of what your body does when you feel anxious. We tense up and close off. our body language and muscle tension has a huge impact on our mind. If we can loosen our body, we can loosen up our mind.

See Yourself Through the Eyes of Other People...

Another great strategy I picked up from CBT is to see myself through the eyes of other people when I felt self-conscious or was having an anxiety attack. I would ask myself: “If I saw someone else who looked nervous or self-conscious, would I judge them? Would I assume they’re weak or stupid for being nervous? Would I laugh at someone who was having an anxiety attack or stuttered during a presentation? No, I wouldn’t... so, that means others probably aren’t laughing at me. ”Stop, Breathe, and Repeat a Mantra.

This ties in with something called the MIRROR EFFECT...

If we judge others, we will in turn feel judged for that very same thing. Think about it... If you were to never judge someone else for messing up or doing something embarrassing, how would you know other people were judging you for that same thing. If we can learn to live life without judgement's, it makes it very easy to never feel judged by others.

When we get anxious, we forget to breathe, which only makes things worse. If I were ever feeling like everyone in the room was negatively judging me and I started to feel anxiety about it, I would focus on taking deep breaths and try to relax my body. Then I would stop whatever I was doing and repeat this mantra: “What others think of me means nothing, and it’s out of my control. I am who I am, no matter what they think. Let go. ”Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time, so focusing on breathing and repeating this mantra helps take away your focus on the fearful situation.

Let Go and Accept without Fighting!

Let go of trying to fight it and let it happen. I would remember no one really cares and no one is laughing at me... I was the only one who cared. I Remembered People Can’t See How I Feel Inside.

Sometimes, when we’re anxious, we assume people can feel what we’re feeling. But in reality, people generally don’t know how you feel inside and very rarely notice if you’re anxious. Focus on Other People,Take the focus away from yourself and try to notice what other people are doing and saying. Like I mentioned, we can only focus on one thing at a time, so focusing on others means you’re not focusing on yourself. Keep in mind these tools are helpful, but what’s more important is to fix the causes. If you’re trying to fix the symptoms once you’re already having an anxiety attack or feeling self-conscious, it’s too late. I feel this is where most people teaching this stuff are going wrong. They give you great advice for what to do when you’re feeling anxious but fail to properly address the causes.

the 3 mindsets

negative beliefs

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star in your own movie

the negative beliefs exercise

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eft tapping

EFT INTRODUCTION

the tapping points

identify issues to tap on

How to Prepare: Making a list

With EFT, we need to choose a target for each time we tap. Your target can be an emotion (anxiety, fear, hurt, loneliness), an event (the time he left me at the restaurant, the time she hit me, the time I was rejected by that girl) or a symptom (you might be feeling anxiety, blushing and/or pulsing in your chest).

We can use EFT to tap on all forms of negative emotions from the past, present and future. This includes all fears, phobias, beleifs, anxiety, anger, grief, depression, traumatic memories, PTSD, worry, guilt, and all limiting emotions in sports, business and the performing arts.

There are three ways we can reduce social anxiety with EFT

1. Tapping to reduce current negative emotions and fears, or nervousness about a future event.

2. Problems with self-acceptance and subconscious blocks to overcoming social anxiety.

3. Past negative experiences, negative beliefs and past traumas.

Tapping on any anxiety you’re experiencing in the moment is much more straightforward. Whenever we are feeling a negative emotion in the present moment, we identify the reason why, such as, “I'm nervous because I'm about to go to a social gathering," and we tap on that nervous feeling until the anxiety is lowered to under a 2, preferably 0 on the SUDS scale.

However, tapping on current anxiety is only a part of it. The real healing is done by tapping on our past issues of hurt, guilt, shame and trauma. Also, by releasing our subconscious blocks to healing and overcoming social anxiety.

You see, social anxiety stems from past negative and traumatic experiences. After experiencing one or more of these painful social experiences, your brain has linked social situations to a threat of more potential pain. Now, whenever you get into a similar experience, your brain triggers the fight or flight response in anticipation of danger and pain; this releases stress hormones into your body, causing you to freeze, tense and sweat, blush , etc.

Beliefs are formed based on past experiences. Perhaps you believe people are mean and cruel, everyone is judgmental, you're not worthy of love, you’re not good enough or you’re unattractive. These beliefs are not always the truth, they are perceptions and assumptions you have made based on certain past experiences in your life.

In this course we are going to examine some of these beliefs, challenge them and change them.

Negative beliefs

When we are tapping on negative beliefs, It's not enough to just say "I'm not lovable." Where is the belief coming from? Were you abandoned as a child, were you cheated on? Told you were worthless?

You need to get specific.

Anxiety or low self esteem is not a cause, it's a symptom. Like a forest, it's a blanket term we use for multiple things. Each issue or past hurt is like a tree that makes up the forest that we call low self-esteem or a limiting belief. So, we need to tap on each issue individually, not on the blanket issue or belief. You need to knock out each individual tree one at a time to clear the forest.

How to knock out negative beliefs

Step 1 is to list all your negative beliefs you have about yourself and the world.

Step 2 is to go through and try to find examples of experiences that caused you to believe that. For example, you may think you're not worthy of love. Try to remember events in your past that lead you to that belief.

Write down the 5 or 10 most painful ones. I.e., your boyfriend cheated on you or your dad left you when you were young.

Here are a few more ways to identify any unresolved issues that need to be addressed. Ask yourself these this questions, and see what you find.

If you could live life over again, what person or event would you prefer to skip?

What do I regret?

What scares me and what do I avoid?

What events caused me emotional pain in the past?

Write your answers down and tap on them individually using the technique I will give you. Start from the worst, most pressing issue to the least.

In the next video I will give you ways to identify subconscious blocks to overcoming social anxiety.

the only time we focus on the negative

clearing subconscious blocks

tap along - removing blocks

Unique tap

tap along - self acceptance

tap along - i can

tap along - flaws

tell a story technique

tap along - embarassing event

tap along - anxiety in the moment

tapping in a public space

Anticipation anxiety

troubleshooting and best practices

Troubleshooting Guide

Here are some tips and advice you need to know about EFT. Sometimes you'll tap and tap on an issue and the level of discomfort will not go down much. Here are some of the main issues I have found as to why you may not be having success or an issue may not be decreasing in discomfort.

1. You're going too general - Sometimes you need to be more specific. Going too general, such as “I’m not worthy,” without tapping on the issues that caused that belief to develop will mean it will likely come back or not decrease at all. It’s not enough to just tap on “I have social anxiety,” because that is not the cause, it’s the effect.

Make a list all the times you were judged, hurt or criticized and tap on those first. Get specific. Social anxiety, limiting beleifs or low self esteem is like a forest, it’s a blanket term. The trees are like each issue, so you need to tap on each individually, not on the blanket issue

2. We haven't identified the earliest memory - Try to identify the earliest memory of the specific issue occurring. Sometimes, if we don't get to the earliest memory, we won’t fully knock out a belief. Usually, the first time an event happened to you is where all the trauma is held, if you get the first memory, it can also knock out the emotion from all the following ones. Shut your eyes and think back to the earliest time you can think of when you felt like that.

3. Subconscious blocks are in the way - Make sure you don’t have any blocks to overcoming your issue, and if you do, tap on those first. Try to identify any rewards you get for staying stuck. I.e. sympathy, won’t have an excuse, you don't have to feel bad about where you are, a certain person won’t like you anymore, you will have to forgive a certain person etc. What are the benefits for staying stuck in anxiety? Write them down and decide that you’re ready to release these blocks to overcoming anxiety.

Refer back to a previous video about tapping on social anxiety blocks.

4. Can’t get emotional - Sometimes you won’t be able to feel anything from the past. If this is the case, ask yourself, what memory would you rather not have? Tell a story of a past hurt that happened to you and and tap on that, even though you can’t feel any emotion around it.

5. Giving up too early - Sometimes, right after tapping, the emotion will feel like it has been reduced to 0/10. However, after a little while, some issues may come back. You may need to tap on an issue multiple times over multiple days before it fully goes away. We are dealing with emotional issues here, so if you have big traumas or extended periods of trauma in your history, EFT can usually help quite a bit, but it may take some time and multiple sessions.

Don’t give up or quit if an issue doesn't fully go away after only one session. Just tap on it again when it comes up and see if there is an earlier issue or you're going too general perhaps.

6. Make sure you’re not missing any aspects. Tell the story and break all the aspects into a story and tap on each aspect that causes you anxiety or grief individually. That way you will get every aspect of the story.